FW: No Parent Left Behind

You may have seen this before. If so it is still funny the second time
around.

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> NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND....
>
> I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud. These are real
> notes written by parents in an ALABAMA school district. Spellings have
> been left intact.
>
> 1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today.
> Please execute him.
>
> 2. Please exkuce Lisa for being absent she was sick and I had her
> shot.
>
> 3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30,
> 31, 32 and also 33.
>
> 4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
>
> 5. Please excuse Roland from p.e. For a few days Yesterday he fell out
> of a tree and misplaced his hip.
>
> 6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his
> face.
>
> 7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was
> hurt in the growing part.
>
> 8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered
> by very close veins.
>
> 9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
>
> 10. Please excuse ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
>
> 11. Pleaseexcuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre
> dyrea direathe the shits.
>
> 12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea,
> and his boots leak.
>
> 13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
>
> 14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
>
> 15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping
> because I don't know what size she wear.
>
> 16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to
> get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday. We
> thought it was Sunday.
>
> 17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her
> funeral.
>
> 18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent
> a weekend with the ma rines.
>
> 19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and
> could not breed well.
>
> 20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with
> gramps.
>
> 21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
>
> 22. Please excuse Brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.
>
> 23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever,
> sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick,
> fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all
> over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever There must be
> something going around, her father even got hot last night.
>
>
> Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our
> kids. And visa versa.
>
>
>
>


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