I’ll start….
Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None, that’s a hardware issue.
2 Likes
I mean… I gotta say it again…
“Kinetic”
I got one better.
Cloud. 
You spelled Active Directory wrong.
1 Like
A QA Engineer walks into a bar and orders a beer.
Then orders 9999 beers.
Then -1 beers.
Then null beers.
Then 2 berrs.
Then “asdfg” beers.
Then 1.00001 beers.
Later, a customer walks in, places an order, and the whole bar explodes.
6 Likes
How many Microsoft engineers to change a light bulb?
None they change the standard to dark.
2 Likes
There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.
1 Like
Why did the programmer quit his job?
Because he didn't get arrays!